8:10

My Grandma passed away October 10. We had the funeral on Saturday. I will post soon - just not feeling up to it right now.

10:30
Today: Partly sunny. Highs in the upper 80s. South winds 10 to 20 mph. Tonight: Partly cloudy. Breezy. Lows in the upper 50s. South winds 20 to 25 mph.

I don't know where to begin. The good news first I guess. I am an Aunt again! Woohoo!! My baby brother now has another little man. Giovanni Giorgione. He weighed in at 7 lbs. 6 oz. 20 inces long, born October 4! Here they are...




Franco, Giovanni and Franco Jr.

I am so sad I couldn't be there. I got to be in the room when Franco Jr. was born. They live in Colorado now. They will come out later this month so at least I have that to look forward to! Mom planned on being there but that's where the bad news comes in.

On Tuesday late afternoon, Mom was at the nursing home visiting Grandma. Grandma all of the sudden couldn't talk and was having a hard time breathing. Mom said she put her hand to her chest. She said it was so scary, she thought Grandma was going to die. She ran to get the nurse and the nurse said I was just in there, she's fine. That ticked Mom off. I told her she should say something to the administrator. I don't care if she thought she was ok - she is supposed to take care of patients. I would like to give her a piece of my mind. I might just have to find out her name and call myself. So...she's back in the hospital. She still can't talk and looks terrible. I hate that we don't know if she is in pain, if she understands us. She won't eat or take her meds so they said that Mom is going to have to decide if she wants to have them give her extra care - basically it seems that they either feed her through iv or you just let her go. How aweful!! That's not any pressure or anything. Either we make her eat and take her meds or you let her die! WHAT!!! They didn't say it like that but they pretty well mean it. She's in emergency care, which I guess is like ICU in bigger hospitals. I went to see her on Wednesday with Ariana (my 2 year old). She held my hand but didn't seem there at all. She was so cold. They think she may have had a heart attack and a stroke. The left side of her face is droopy like the first stroke she had. Yesterday I took all the kids in, one at a time to see her. I wanted them to see her in case she passed away. They haven't experienced anyone close to them dying and I think that if it happens, God forbid, they should be included. Some people disagree, but I don't want them to be as devastated as I am with the whole thing. She squeezed my hand this time and reached out with one. She was a little warmer. The doctor doesn't think she will get out of the hospital, but he also said that she beat the odds with her pneumonia before. She is on medicaid and the nursing home handed Mom a paper on her way to the emergency when they were taking Grandma to the hospital. It stated that she needed to move Grandma's stuff out or pay $100 a day to hold her room. If Mom didn't pay they couldn't guarantee her room would be there if she came back as they were full. Talk about kicking a person when they are down!!

I don't know how to deal with this I guess. I am so sad and scared, but I can't sit and wallow in it with four kids and I want to help my Mom - she has to do this all alone. Her siblings are in New York, so it's pretty much up to her. I am helping her prepare things in case the worst happens, so there isn't a bunch of things for her to try to handle. Grandma paid for her funeral years ago and has a plot next to my Grandfather in Colorado with a headstone combined for them both, so her name is already there, just no date. When she went into the nursing home 6 years ago I cashed her life insurance policy to create an irrevocable trust to handle the other funeral costs. If I hadn't, the state would have taken everything and she didn't have a whole lot. This trust covered flowers, transporting her back to Colorado, minister fee, date on the headstone, and I can't remember what else. Most likely Mom won't have to come up with more money, except maybe a little bit for the change in transportation costs now from the price 6 years ago. It's morbid to talk about it, but I want to make it all as easy as it can be for my Mom. She has visited my Grandmother every single day for 6 years at the nursing home except for when she was away for a on a couple of trips. She does everything for Grandma and I want to ease her load. It's killing me, but I am also preparing an obituary. That just seems easier to do now than later. I hate it though. Okay - I have to change the subject and get out of this sadness for a few minutes.

We have had beautiful weather fortunately. Today and tomorrow it's going to be a lot warmer, but for the most part it's been great. My other brother who I haven't seen since Christmas is coming out today. He and his wife are coming to see Grandma which is great. I wish they had come before this though. I can't go visit them as I don't have a car I would want to drive that far and I really can't afford it. Anyway, it will be nice to see them.

I have been cleaning out some things, throwing things away and finding more to sell on ebay. It feels so good to get rid of clutter and junk. I want to get more organized. I have tons and tons of pictures and momentos from the kids that I want to put in scrapbooks before I forget everything or something happens to it all. I have tons of Cherished teddies and longaberger baskets I want to sell, so I need to get pictures taken and get those ready and listed on ebay. It just takes a lot of time to get it all on there. I have so many plans, just need more time or another me! LOL

Ariana is up, so I have to go for now. I plan to visit soon.
What a crabby post! Sorry. I better go. I am so tired. Have a great Sunday!




Some Graphics by Cute Countryside Graphics (No longer online), Grandma's Attic, Country Patch Collections and The Doll House.